Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
What drink are we having for lunch?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
