As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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