great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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