when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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