your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
