I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
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while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
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I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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