Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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