After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize
