as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Randomize
