Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
