dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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