just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i was born a porn star she said
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
