I'm lost and stupid without you.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
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