I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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