Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
wow bdsm is so cute
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