Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize