so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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