singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
