do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
