I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
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you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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