he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize