Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
