haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
