Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
