Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
