ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
