I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
