Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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