Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I enjoy the company of your penis
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize