My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
