in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
