matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
How external is "for external use only"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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