Fine. I'll sleep in my office
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
