So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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