I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
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When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
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The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
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