Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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