physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
