found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
