Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
