yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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