If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
