Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize