guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Dignity is for republicans.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
