It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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