how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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