6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
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