Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
