Walk of Shame. In a state park.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
