well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
