Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
