he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Randomize
