you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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