scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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