it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
