if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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