my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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