we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
