she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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