My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
