There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
