I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize