she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
