If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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