I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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