So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
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